Finding The Right One
On a recent day of quarantine monotony, an architect friend of mind suggested we get out of our home studios for a change of scenery. Fortunately for us both, looking at houses is a favored past time and one that isn’t hampered by a mask and 6’ of social distancing. As we toured quaint streets, garths and mewses in 2 of the cities most beautiful neighborhoods, I found myself looking at each unique home and doing the mental equivalent of swiping left when determining if I could see myself living there or not. Too big, too small, too much work, too close to neighbors, and some that would have been just right. It occurred to me that many of the same skills used to find the perfect mate are the same skills we can use to find the perfect home.
Whether you’re eager to get your first home or feeling stale in a long term home relationship and want to see what else is out there, the starting point can be daunting. You may need some help in your quest, so, like many other things worth finding, it’s always best to start with good old fashioned word of mouth. Tell your family and friends you’re ready to start looking, and ask them to keep their eyes open for a nice home looking for a nice new occupant.
Apps are where a lot of people start, but like it’s dating equivalents, they’re full of pictures taken with filters and bragging about square footage and that fire pit promising to keep you warm, but fails to tell you it’s the dud of the street. They can inundate you with choices you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole and leave you feeling as if all the good ones are taken.
The best way to avoid scores of awkward open house set ups and wasting your valuable time is by working with a skilled realtor. A good realtor is like a good matchmaker. They’ll get to know you and what you’re looking for. They’ll keep vigilant for new possibilities coming on the market and, when you do find a possible match, will do the work of uncovering any dirty little secret that might save you from heartache down the road.
Whichever method you use, it’s best to have a real soul searching, internal conversation to determine what you’re looking for before you get out there. Knowing your personality and what you have to invest in this relationship will help to determine which to pass on and which get a closer look. Are you an introvert and need your space or are you an extrovert that loves neighbors? Do you have the grit for the commitment of a fixer upper or prefer to live with it as is?
Whatever you do, please don’t fall in love at first sight. Sure, that house may have handsome features from the outside, but don’t forget there’s more than just a pretty face. I’ve seen many a client so taken by a wood burning fireplace or walk in closet that they absolutely whitewash all the red flags that can not be fixed. It’s heartbreaking when they bring me in after the fact to see what can be done to fix problems and I have to give the sad news that, it’s not you, it’s the house.
Bringing in an Architect, contractor or skilled interior designer before you hitch yourself to a home can be like doing pre-marital counseling. These are professionals that know homes inside and out and walking through can be eye opening from their perspective. They can help to determine whether those charming quirks will be endearing or drive you nuts, whether it is foundationally solid or will lead to irreconcilable differences. If you need a 4 bedroom house, and the 3 bedroom you are smitten with can’t be added on to, they’ll help you to walk away. You may get the validation that you’ve found your match or told to keep looking. In the case of the latter, the short lived disappointment is better than years of bitterly complaining that it will never fulfill your needs.
When you’re ready to make the commitment to each other, you’ll be tempted to introduce it to your family and friends. Since people naturally have opinions they feel compelled to share, I’d suggest just showing the people that know you well and can see if there is something you’re overlooking. Once you get the thumbs up, it’s time to make it official.
Once you’ve found, “the one”, remember the commitment you’ve made to one another. Don’t forget to appreciate its handsome architectural features and all the ways it keeps you feeling safe and secure. Make room when necessary to grow together, even if that means renovating or adding on. Any when you’ve been together for a while, don’t begin to ignore one another. If you look the other way when you see signs that the shingles aren’t where they are supposed to be, then don’t be surprised when it lets the rains in.
Deciding what is important and asking for professional help will keep you from being distracted by all the pretty faces out there and could be the difference between finding your true homemate or just another place to park your furniture. A good relationship with a home improves so many aspects of ones life and will enrich it in ways you never could have imagined when you first met.
