Beginner’s Mind…Again
New Mind, New Life
Last week, I was excited to see my personal belongings being loaded on a truck and headed to NY, where they will set sail to meet me in my new home across the sea.
The Fool Tarot Card
As the moving van pulled away, I was reminded of the first trip I took there in April. Leaving Rome and heading deeper into the countryside, I had a bit of a panic attack as I started to ascend the road leading to “the rock” upon which my hilltop city rests. Within minutes of arriving at the place where I was staying, it suddenly hit me that I had never been to this part of the country before, didn’t know a soul, and didn’t speak the language. But fear of the unknown quickly turned to excitement of the unknown as I reminded myself that I was going to have the opportunity to have a beginner's mind again and to see so many new things that were waiting for me to discover.
Almost daily, I am met with looks of confusion when I tell people I am moving to Europe. I am inevitably asked if I am moving for a job or a partner, if I have family there, or when I am returning. When my answers are “no, no, no, and never,” I can see the look of perplexity that washes over them. Unable to tie my answers to any reason that makes sense to them, they ask the next predictable question, “Why?”.
My new answer is “why not?”. What I actually want to say (and often do) is…
I don’t want to know what the rest of my life will look like. I don’t want to know who I will be for the next 30 years. I don’t want to know who I will meet or the places I will live. I don’t want to be an “expert,” I don’t want rote familiarity, I don’t want to have all the answers, and I don’t want to live life on autopilot. I love seeing the world, its wonders, and its people with a beginner’s mind. As a newbie, everything is new, expands me, and keeps me curious.
Living On Autopilot
We’ve all had the experience of driving somewhere, and upon arrival, we realize we have no idea how we got there. We were simply on autopilot and not paying attention to the journey at all. We made the same turns, followed the same routes, and avoided trying new pathways. Unfortunately, we missed the delight of seeing the trees in bloom or the cloud that looks like a giant heart. Perhaps we failed to see that giant pothole or road debris. This is what happens when we stop observing and just start robotically going through life. Now, contrast that to the child who is sitting in the backseat noticing every dog on the sidewalk, every red car, every person wearing a funny hat. Everything is met with excitement and novelty because their eyes are opened, and they are REALLY seeing. They ask a hundred questions because they have not yet been tainted by predictability, expectation, or conformity. They see discovery and awe and newness in everything that we have forgotten to see at all.
To be childlike and keep our sense of beginners mind is not to be naive, moronic, or easily hoodwinked. I find it quite the opposite. It takes incredible bravery to realize that control is an illusion and to hold all options open as a possibility. To believe that we have life figured out or that we must be the same person tomorrow as we were yesterday is to put a stranglehold on our precious lives. It makes us old, regardless of our chronological age, and it keeps us in the tiniest of self-made boxes where life force can suffocate. Often, the wisest man is the one who admits he does not know it all.
Stock image - Canva
In the traditional deck of tarot, my favorite card is The Fool. It depicts a fancifully dressed man and his faithful little dog embarking on a new adventure. One hand carries a small sack, indicating that we need very little to journey through life. In the other hand, a lovely white rose represents simple beauty and freedom from the desire for material things. The sun is shining, and he is looking up towards the heavens, seemingly unfazed by the cliff’s edge under his feet and the foreboding peaks of ice in the background. Rather than being frozen in place by the potential pitfalls he could encounter, he soldiers on into the unknown, secure in the knowledge that his internal guidance and intuition will deliver him safely.
The number associated with this card is zero, which symbolizes the beginning of a journey, the expansion of horizons, and the willingness to take leaps of faith. I see very much of myself (and Frankie!) in that card. Perhaps I should give one out to accompany my answer of “why not!”. Like the fool, I have sold or given away the majority of my things and do not long for any material possessions. I am moving to a country infamous for its red tape and inconsistencies, yet I am excited for all the opportunities to discover things anew. I have purposely avoided doing too much research, not because I am blissfully ignorant or unprepared, but rather because I want to experience things instead of having expectations. I welcome the challenges that will allow me to solve problems and see my own strengths and capabilities. And I know my journeying will continue as one day I would like to live in Greece and France… and who knows where else, where the excitement of not knowing will begin again.
Foolish Wonder, Why Not?
It’s never too late to return to the sense of wonder and discovery in being a newbie or adopting a beginner's mindset. One does not need a radical life uproot to start to awaken and expand. Perhaps start with taking a new route to the gym, or trying an ethnic dish you’ve never eaten before, or starting a conversation with a stranger at the dog park. What about trying a different style of clothing or not reading a guidebook before taking a trip? What about asking “why?” (like a child can do all day) when we find ourselves in self-destructive thought patterns or unhealthy attachments to people, substances, or situations? What about sitting in the backseat, fixing our eyes out the window, and actually seeing the world that is all around us?
What about discovering the fun of saying, “Why not?”.
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